How To Give And Receive Feedback
By Tuto Taveras of LARA
Opinions expressed in this article do not necessarily represent the point of view of Best Served. In furtherance of bringing more voices to the table, we are committed to sharing varied thinking throughout the industry.
Is it true? Are relationships really complicated? Be it a co-worker, our bosses, our family, or our lovers, and even with ourselves, relationships can be very challenging and stressful. Let’s try to rethink about that here. Let’s try to find a way to make interactions with other humans stress-free and be able to tell each other positive reinforcing ideas that will make us thrive and be better, be more. To be able to do what we just mentioned, let’s start with the idea of perception. Reality is something that can be perceived differently because of our different culture, religious, societal, and beliefs parameters. So a single event can be perceived differently by multiple witnesses and they will all tell you slightly different stories when asked about it. The parable of the five blind men and the elephant comes to mind. We know stress in our relationships, and thus in our giving and receiving feedback, comes from that perception. So the question flourishes; why would we put so much investment (our feelings, emotions, guessing of the outcome, etc.) to the negative outcome of that perception? Thinking of this can help us when we give or receive feedback.
Another notion we have to dig deeper is the one of judgment. When we give or receive feedback, it is easy to think this or that way is the “right” way. And we choose our words based on this notion that could probably be only real to us. Remember, right or wrong are concepts that depend on history and geography. What can be right now, might have not been years ago. The same, what could be right to us could be wrong to another culture. I believe it is more useful if we think on the things that serve us or limit us, instead of right or wrong. If your approach is coming from this, there is no way the giving or receiving of feedback can stress anybody. And it is not about words, it is more about the energy in which you are vibrating in that moment.
Lastly, and probably the most important part of all, when we are in the position that we need to give or receive feedback, it is useful to always remember and ponder on the golden rule. That is, do unto others as you would like to be done to yourself. So, you see yourself in this situation, either you have to tell somebody something or somebody comes to you with criticism, stop for a few seconds and think how you would want this to be dealt upon you. If you act on this energy I guarantee you the outcome will always be positive.
Rev. Tuto has spent most of his life in the production of music, as a songwriter, composer, arranger, producer, and engineer. He has also been ordained three times into Christianity, Spiritual Artistry, and Interfaith/Inter-spirituality. He is currently fulfilling a BS in Cinematography. He has three sons, a daughter, and two cats named Toby and Fifi. Rev. Tuto’s calling is to serve humanity as a minister of love and compassion, leading a life of service to others. He is available for any conversation and counsel as well as any ritual or ceremony. He is licensed to perform marriages in the states of New York and New Jersey.
