Finding A Therapist: What To Look For
This is part two of a three part series about Finding A Therapist. It is a collaboration between Laura Louise Green from Healthy Pour and Katy Osuna from Copper & Heat.
Opinions expressed in this article do not necessarily represent the point of view of Best Served. In furtherance of bringing more voices to the table, we are committed to sharing varied thinking throughout the industry.
The most important thing to consider while choosing a therapist is whether or not you feel comfortable being vulnerable with this person. So, looking for therapists that fit within some of your “must haves” is important. If you’re underinsured or uninsured and don’t think you can afford therapy, look into options that fit within that scope. If you have specific challenges that you want to work through, filter by specialty. If you are a member of a marginalized group, maybe you specifically want someone else who is also a member of that group. But, most importantly, you want it to be a good relational fit. You want to be meeting with someone that you feel safe and comfortable with, that you can do good work with. When in doubt, go with your gut. If you don’t get a good vibe, maybe they’re not a good fit.
Finding a Therapist
Here are a few of our favorite networks and directories for finding a therapist.
Paying for therapy
Heather Lundy, Founder and CEO of Khesed Wellness says that access to affordable mental health services can be a big challenge, especially for folks that are underinsured (which most of us in the restaurant are). Affordability can be a buzz word for marketing for some mental health services companies, so make sure you ask some questions and do your research to make sure. However, even the bigger therapist search engines, like Psychology Today, do have a filter where you can look for reduced rate or sliding scale therapists and their page should include their rate. Word of mouth is still the strongest referral source, so talk to some of your coworkers or friends that you know are interested in or are going to therapy about who they see. They might have a good recommendation for someone who is affordable. Khesed has a Hospitality Pro Bono program for participants to access therapy sessions as well, so check that out here.
What should I ask a potential therapist?
When you first meet with a potential therapist, you’ll want to ask some questions. How they answer some of these questions will give you a good idea of how they will handle working with you. Again, it’s all about whether or not you feel comfortable and safe with them, so having this initial conversation is all about gauging that vibe.
Who are you? What is your background?
Your therapist will likely share information about their schooling and licensure, however they might also share where they’re from, their family structure, and maybe some personal interests or hobbies. Not all therapists self-disclose this information, but this will help you get a feel for who they are. Additionally, therapy requires vulnerability which can be scary. Knowing a little bit about who you’re speaking with will help ease that feeling.
What is your approach?
Not all approaches work for everyone! Listening to how the therapist speaks about their approach will give you insight into how sessions will look and whether or not that particular approach will result in success for you.
What can I expect during a session with you?
This will help you manage expectations and demystify the therapeutic process. Not only does it give you a clearer picture of the process, it will likely help ease your mind as you begin.
Do you have any specific specialties or concentrations?
Most therapists have specialties or challenges that they are especially competent in. For example, a therapist might be especially experienced in substance use issues but doesn’t have much experience working with children. Others might focus on life transitions and the feelings that come with grief. Others might specifically work with individuals who are learning to manage more challenging experiences that come with mania or psychosis. It’s important that your therapist is competent and able to work with what you’re experiencing so you are appropriately cared for.
How do you measure improvement?
There is generally no right or wrong answer to this question, but there should be an answer. Some therapists have methods to measure your perception of the therapeutic experience (so cool, by the way), while others might periodically check in with you and process how therapy is going. Whatever it is, there should be some way to know if therapy is working, otherwise it will eventually stop being effective.
How do you integrate accountability into therapy?
Accountability is hard for everyone, but it is essential in the therapeutic process. Understanding and processing behaviors and new skills can sometimes feel uncomfortable, but accountability in therapy means that steps are being taken to move forward effectively. This is not only in regards to the therapist holding the client accountable, but the freedom and encouragement for the client to hold the therapist accountable. Like in any relationship, the process of accountability will only build trust, improve conflict resolution skills, and strengthen the therapeutic bond. Accountability also doesn’t have to feel bad! Accountability is love.
Have you ever worked with someone that looks like me?
This is big. Since everything impacts our mental health, it’s impossible to truly address issues a person is experiencing without acknowledging the social systems that impact them. It is the ethical responsibility of the therapist to only work within their scope of practice, which also means being prepared to address and integrate social justice into their work.
What roles do supremacist systems play in mental health?
This question is a solid barometer to measure the therapist’s capability of understanding what you are experiencing AND their role in maintaining or dismantling those supremacist systems. Pay close attention to how you’re feeling when discussing these questions: power dynamics in therapy are challenging but important. Remember therapy is to help YOU and not maintain the therapist’s comfort.
How familiar are you with the work that I do in hospitality/in restaurants/behind the bar?
The culture of the restaurant industry is...a lot. If someone doesn’t know much about it, it becomes a lot to explain, which can be emotionally burdensome for you. Working with a therapist who at least has a general idea of what comes with the hospitality industry (or has resources to consult with a therapist who does) will make it easier to talk about the challenges that come with work. Additionally, there can often be judgement or assumptions about what working in hospitality is like, and it’s best that you have a safe, unbiased space to work through what you need to work through with compassion and understanding rather than judgement.
What should I do if I’m unhappy with therapy?
You want a therapist that’s ok with being challenged and comfortable navigating conflict. You will not always agree with your therapist and it’s ok to challenge them, as long as they’re ok processing through that with you. If they fumble around with the answer to this question, they may not be comfortable with that, and you deserve a therapist who prioritizes your needs over their comfort.
This article is part of a three part series. For more information, read Finding A Therapist: What Is Therapy and Is It Right For Me? and Finding A Therapist: I Found A Therapist, Now What? to learn more.
Laura Louise Green | Founder of Healthy Pour
Katy Osuna is the host and producer of the James Beard award-winning Copper & Heat podcast. She’s been a cook for 9 years and worked in all sorts of places from the 3-starred Michelin restaurant Manresa in Los Gatos CA, to the sustainable meat company Belcampo before starting Copper & Heat. The interviews and content from this article are from episode 2 of Pre-Shift, the third season of Copper & Heat. Copper & Heat explores the unspoken rules and traditions of restaurants through the stories of the people that work in them.
