Finding Sobriety in a Sea of Depression
Presented by Society Insurance
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By Abigail Mazzarella
August of last year I was in a completely different place than I am now. I was struggling with reintroducing myself to the workforce for the first time since my mom’s death and the global pandemic while also living with an alcohol problem and untreated depression.
I honestly don’t remember what the final straw was for me when it came to alcohol, but I do know that when I was diagnosed with prehypertension I was given a rude awakening; if my severe depression didn’t kill me, my alcohol use would. At first, I was ashamed of being sober, but finding a sober community online helped me find my place as well as a sense of purpose.
In December of 2020, roughly 3 months since I had quit drinking, I applied to become a host for the LGBTQIA+ chapter of the 1,000 Hours Dry community on Instagram. I was accepted as a host and was thrust into essentially becoming a community leader. It kept me accountable and helping others gave me a sense of purpose. I am now the chapter leader of the LGBTQIA+ 1HD chapter, as well as the facilitator for LGBTQIA+ support meetings on 1HD’s accompanying app, Reframe.
Since January of 2021, I have sought help for my depression and that has changed my life tremendously. While I’m still not 100% functional, I find it easier to complete everyday tasks like waking up and showering. There are things that I’m excited about and I’m no longer filled with existential dread daily.
If I’m being honest, working through grief and newfound sobriety has been a challenge. Every day I have to pretend like my grief and depression isn’t debilitating and like I’m completely ok. By the time I leave work I’m completely drained from putting so much energy into keeping up a perfect facade. Issues like grief and depression are so misunderstood. In our industry, if you don’t work yourself until you have nothing, it’s viewed as a weakness.
My goal here is to say, although I don’t feel like I’ve come very far since this time last year, I’ve leaped over mountains and completely changed my life. Recovery IS possible. While day-to-day life may be a struggle, my life still has meaning and my existence has a purpose. Despite all of my struggles, I’m still standing, and I’m standing strong.
Headquartered in Fond du Lac, Wis., Society Insurance has been a leading niche insurance carrier since 1915. As a mutual insurance company, Society focuses on the small details that make a big difference to its policyholders while offering top-notch insurance coverage, service and competitive pricing to businesses in Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Minnesota, Tennessee, Colorado, Georgia and soon Texas.
Woman in red shirt smiling
My name is Abby and I’m 27 years old. I’ve been sober since 9/9/2020 and motherless since 3/9/2020. I also happen to be an out and proud lesbian. I currently work as a Team Member for a chain restaurant.
Opinions expressed in this article do not necessarily represent the views of Best Served. To achieve our mission of bringing more voices to the table, we are committed to sharing a variety of viewpoints across the industry.
